And now I only think about you if it's raining, or it's not.

It may seem odd, or antisocial to say that I like hiding. Wherever I go, I collect places that I can consider mine and mine alone. Few friends know about these spaces, and those that do know not to bother me when I'm there. Tea shops, and coffee shops, and little nooks and corners of gardens and libraries and forests. My room is an inner sanctum. People are rarely in my room, and nobody enters it without my express permission. Well, one boy does(did) and it's a testament of how much I like the kid.

It's not that I want to hide who I am. Not really. I just want to preserve some peace for myself. Someplace where I can read without interruption, or just watch people pass me by. I want to sit without having to maintain conversation, or explain myself. I love my little solitary moments-reading while the snow is coming down, tucked away in an arm chair with my tea and nestled in a throw blanket. Being tucked away anywhere, really. Sometimes the world feels a bit too vast for my liking.

One of life's primal situations; the game of hide and seek. Oh, the delicious thrill of hiding while others are coming to look for you, the delicious terror of being discovered, but what panic when, after a long search, the others abandon you! You musn't hide too well. You musn't be too good at the game. The player must never be bigger than the game itself.

Jean Baudrillard







Songs listened to during the posting:

Laura Veirs: Where are you driving?
Simon and Garfunkel: Bookends
She & Him: You've really got a hold on me
Neko Case: Don't forget me